Having the vision to become a social entrepreneur is inspirational. Making it happen is another story! It’s tough, it takes guts and vision and it can lead to some pretty hair raising moments. Here, we talk to Kathy Wong, a Northern Beaches local who inspires so many with her incredible business, her personal integrity and her genuine openness. You may have heard of Kathy, she owns Moeloco, a company that not only sells beautiful looking thongs but for every pair sold, a closed in pair of shoes is donated to a child in India. Here we find out what inspires Kathy, how she deals with stress and the huge goal she hopes to achieve by January.

Q. Kathy, you retired at 42 years of age but 10 years later, you leapt into starting a social enterprise, what made you come out of retirement?

“I woke up from a dream one morning and had an epiphany where I had to make a difference in the world. I wasn’t sure what that difference was, but the message about creating positive change kept pounding my mind for over a week. During this time, a deep knowing surfaced. It was then that I came out of retirement.”

Q. You’ve been described as a trailblazer, a socially evolved entrepreneur and a brilliant business woman – but you come from humble beginnings. What has been your driving force?

“Wow, thank you. Children are the underlying force. One of my big dreams was to have children and that didn’t happen for me, however, I have always had a strong connection to children and they love me, so my purpose has centred around them. I have always supported children's charities but for me, it was about getting some real skin in the game, creating a bigger path and not just giving money."

Q. Why is it so important to you to support children in poverty in India?

I had originally been aware of issues surrounding children in Asia and Africa and thought I might do something there so I reached out to someone at a conference in the hopes of finding a charity I could partner with and this person recommended a charity in India. It was not on my radar, so I started researching issues surrounding children in india and immediately I was overcome. I thought if I didn’t have an awareness about it then perhaps others didn’t either. To realise that so many children live without shoes there, well it compelled me. From that moment I just knew my soul belonged there. India found me and my vision took shape.

Q. I imagine it must be quite confrontational to see children in poverty, how do you deal with it?

"I try to remain unemotional and observe the situation. On a deeper level, I look within and ask myself what is triggering me. I have to sit with that because I don’t usually have the answers immediately. I need to have a sense of being grounded, whilst having a sense of curiosity and asking, why is this happening?"

Q. How do you deal with stress and anxiety in these tough situations when you can't move away from feeling emotional?

"Deep breathing to remain calm, I find going into nature, looking at water or reaching out to a friend and having a rant helps. Calling a friend and sharing is important to me."

Q. Maintaining a balance whilst running a business is tough. Do you have a self care ritual that you can share with other women who may be looking for idea’s?

"Journaling, meditation, exercise and yoga are grounding for me. Lots of herbal tea is good and placing lavender in the diffuser is great. I am a believer in changing your state, so I often put music on and dance around the house, other than that, staying active is really important."

Q. What words of inspiration can you share with others?

"We can do anything, we are all so powerful. Listen to your intuition and what your heart wants. Tap into that. We are caught in a society where there are so many experts telling us how to live our best life, but listen to your own wisdom. I have really had to learn that myself as well, I’d run out to the next expert to sort things out but I have realised that I know stuff as well, it's within. As women, we can lack confidence but we need to realise our worth. We all have unique gifts, we are all different and we tend to tall poppy ourselves. Let's not downplay our gifts. When you speak your truth, no one can criticize you and when you believe in yourself, the world becomes a better place."

Q. You have a goal of putting 2000 pairs of shoes on the feet of children in India by January, how can people be part of this extraordinary purpose?

"Our thongs make fantastic ethical Christmas presents, so for every pair of thongs sold, we will donate a pair of closed in shoes. Alternatively, share our story, let others know what we are trying to achieve and become part of our movement."

You can check out Kathy's website here: www.moeloco.com or if you would like to meet Kathy and perhaps pick up some fantastic Christmas gifts, there will be a Christmas pop up market with 22 stores many of whom are ethical and fair-trade retailers at Manly Surf Club, South Steyne on Sunday 3rd December from 9.30am - 2.30pm. See the link here:https://www.facebook.com/events/190445508187694/

Why didn't you reach out when you were grieving, I would have been there for you? Why didn’t you lean in when I when was grieving, I needed to know you cared?

And so goes the merry-go-round of what to do when someone you care for is in grief. Whether that be the loss of a parent, a child a sibling, friend or pet, the divorce of a partner or the ending of a job.

With loss comes grief.

I have heard ambulance officers say, with multiple casualties, they always treat the quiet ones first because they are the ones likely to be the most hurt.

In my experience, the same goes for someone in grief. A withdrawal from people and a quietening of personality can indicate a deep state of pain. When one is suffering from an enormous loss, it can feel impossible to reach out. It’s got nothing to do with ego or the appearance of trying to be strong and it’s not always about wanting to be left alone or needing space. Grief at times becomes an inward journey. You know when you slam your finger in the door and it throbs so much, you grab it, hold your breath and can’t speak or move? For some, that’s just what grief is like.

Coupled with the flashbacks of memories and in the cases of being there until the end when a person or pet dies, the memories of the last minutes, hours and days can be especially confronting.

Having lost both parents, grandparents, a friend to suicide, two friends in car accidents and beloved pets, when I grieve, the pain is so raw, so intense, so brutally heart wrenching, that all my energy is focused on just staying upright and taking the next breath until the grief loosens and it’s intensity releases its grip. As a therapist, when a client comes through my door struggling to deal with unresolved grief, our discussions often focus around the need to feel supported by friends and family and the confusion about why these people may have disappeared or why some people may have literally moved into the house and taken over.

Grief is certainly confusing. One moment can feel OK and the next without warning can be desperately emotional, even angry. The waves of grief appear spontaneously and at times insurmountable. The rollercoaster of emotions can be a hard and exhausting ride not just on the person who has experienced loss, but by the people standing by witnessing it.

As proposed by Elisabeth Kugler-Ross in her book, ‘On Death and Dying,’ there are five stages of loss.

1. Denial and Isolation

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

We don’t always go through each of these stages in that order or experience them all but for some people they do and they can all be experienced in a day, over many days, months and even years.

Grieving takes enormous energy, its a process that must be allowed to pass through every part of our being. The early days of grief challenge us because the realisation of loss hasn’t quite settled in properly, such as when you wake up in the morning and for a split second, everything is OK until your memory kicks in and reminds you that your brother, Mother, dog or job are no longer there. Then the weight of loss hits you again and grieving takes over. For others, it’s like a marathon that has many twists and turns up a steep and rocky mountain with no designated path and where some points in the journey are harder than others. It’s lonely climbing this treacherous mountain and just breathing takes the only remnants of energy you have.

So, for someone in grief, they may want you to know this, “Please don’t think you are not needed when I don’t reach out to you. I can’t reach out to you, I’m stuck on this huge insurmountable mountain, all the way over here in grief land so I can’t possibly make the trip all the way over to you and then come back here again. What I need is for you to walk towards me, meet me at my point of despair, and tell me you are here, right beside me, even if only for a brief second. That gives me a short time to rest. That unstraps the burden of weight from my aching heart and allows me to feel like I’m being held. Your outstretched hand lightens the load and interrupts the loop of emotional intensity playing in my mind and creates enough of a moment, so I can catch my breath before this mountain of grief summons me to keep climbing.”

If your grieving friend or family member hasn’t reached out to you, remember it’s not because they don’t need you or want to hear from you, they may not be in a place emotionally where they can. This is the time where you need to reach out to them, no matter how fleeting. No one would ever expect you to drop your life, your kids and your job, nor would your person in grief want you to step outside of what is comfortable for you.

So, what can we do to support our friend, colleague or family member through their loss or show you care, even if you don’t know how? Is there an etiquette to loss?

1. Do what is right for you and trust your intuition.

2. Rather than say, ‘if you need anything, call me.’ The person may find reaching out too difficult. Instead, lean in to them and ask how they are doing today.

3. In this situation, silence is not golden. Your silence could in fact be deafening and create a deep rift of confusion. If you are unsure, uncomfortable and just not knowing what to do, a simple text saying you are thinking of the person is all that is needed.

4. If you are comfortable, drop in with a card, flowers or a meal. Or, leave it at the door. It really doesn’t matter what the object is, it shows you’ve been thinking of the person.

5. Call. Your phone call may not be taken but the act of dialling and being willing to talk to the person in grief highlights your willingness to be supportive and that can mean so much more than you realise.

6. If it’s a work colleague, be aware the last thing they’ll want to do is be emotional at their workplace, so acknowledge them and their loss via an email, note or card on their desk and they’ll open it when they feel strong enough. Take their lead and if they are ready to talk and if it is appropriate, perhaps find a quiet space and just listen. A colleague once left a little mini photo open album on my desk with a card saying they didn’t know what to do but wanted to express their support and sympathy so they purchased this little photo album because it had been done for them once and it meant a great deal. I found that to be beautifully thought out and I’ve never forgotten that act of consideration.

7. Send a message sharing how you have gone through grief. Some people need reassurance that the pain will ease eventually.

8. If you are concerned about your friend or family member at all, gently recommend that calling Beyond Blue could help 1300 22 4636

The most important thing you can continue to do is communicate, it’s the cooling, soothing balm that lets the person in grief know they are cared for.

I would like to introduce you to Bree Cowell, a free-spirited, smart, genuine, hard-working and funny woman. Her positivity and warmth is infectious but it is her sheer courage for leaving a life of comfort and being committed to making a difference in the lives of women and children that I find inspiring. I hope you will too.

In this interview, Bree shares why she is moving on from her corporate job to immerse herself in the slums of Nagpur, India in September, how she deals with stress and anxiety, why she is passionate about supporting women and children and what advice she has for other women wanting to make big life changes...

Bree, you are leaving the safety of a corporate job, moving to India and working towards building a home and education program to support girls and women in India. What attracted you to the Rise as One project?

Travelling through India 3 years ago witnessing what the woman were subject to made me think, 'How could I just sit here having everything I needed and more, knowing these women were suffering around me, how could I continue to do nothing about this?’ Then, this year I woke up with an urge to get off my chair, step away from my working days on the laptop and be of service. The Rise As One opportunity presented and resonated with me deeply and everything fell into place.

Why is it so important to you to support women and children in particular?

There are almost 70 million girls across the globe today, that are not sitting in a classroom. If you are a girl from a lower caste background in a developing country, you are not given the privilege of education. This remains a patriarchal society where education is given to the boy.

The girl is expected to work, care for the children and fetch water. A girl without an education is likely to get married off by the age of just 13, which then feeds the cycle of poverty, child marriage pregnancy and worse, slavery and human traffic. Girls are therefore at much higher risk to disease & violence, so they are clearly more vulnerable. Education is proven to be the most powerful source to help break these appalling cycles for girls and woman.

Tell us what you will be doing in India?

In September myself and 5 other woman will be collaborating with the Bodhicitta Foundation, founded by Australian Tibetan nun Ayya Yeshe. Our vision is to connect with the girls and women and provide education, job skill training and give them our time and love, in hope they can rise above and share these skills back into their own families and communities. We will be working with people from the ex 'untouchable' Dalit community who were oppressed by the Hindu Caste system.

There could be moments in India that are quite confronting. How do you think you'll handle any challenges and can you share with us what your go to ritual is for dealing with stress or anxiety?

My go to ritual, is my temple (the yoga mat). Yoga and Meditation teaches me how powerful the breath is and that I am my own master & healer in slowing down my mind and releasing the anxiety and stress. Its when I find myself reaching outside myself, creating external attachments to ‘fix’ me, that’s when I feed the anxiety and stress the most. The practise of meditation and yoga is something anyone can do, regardless of your socioeconomic background, all you need to do is show up.

It can be challenging stepping out of your comfort zone, what advice do you have for other women who may want to shake up their life and create a new path?

Stepping out of your comfort zone is about timing and understanding it's a process. One that requires much courage and trust, going inside and ripping apart all that is no longer serving to your highest good, it can be a gruesome experience, yet absolutely mind blowing and rewarding in the same breathe. I’ve been exceptionally blessed to be part of the JobAdder corporate family who have supported every step during this life changing experience. I’m a big believer in manifestation and that we are generally responsible for all that shows up in our lives, but again, this has taken me a long time to believe and receive but one I encourage all to explore.

In addition to working in the community whilst in India, you are also trying to raise funds for the project, how can people donate and can you tell us about the rewards in return for donating.

On the 10th July, I launched a crowdfunding campaign for The Rise As One project and with 20 days in, I've almost reached my target of $10K. I'm so excited by the positive response. I've never done anything like this before. I am so grateful to each and every person who is prepared to help, whether that's donating a dollar or a hundred. There is a rewards section on the donation page where you can receive & select a really wonderful gift in return for your donation. Click here to see my page

A little piece of all of us will be there in the heart of this worthwhile project and I will remember you and your kind thoughts as I am working with the women and children in India.

To learn more about the Rise As One project and to hear from Bree, click below.